Episode 004 Dr. Shefali Tsabary – Awake-ish
World-renowned clinical psychologist and best-selling author, Dr. Shefali Tsabary, who specializes in the integration of Eastern philosophy and western psychology is on today’s podcast with Dr. Stephanie! Dr. Stephanie and Dr. Shefali define and discuss the framework of conscious parenting. They touch on parenting myths from Dr. Shefali’s latest book, The Awakened Parent, including topics of self-love, expectations, and happiness. Finally, Dr. Shefali provides best practices that parents can utilize in order to become more conscious in their parenting.
EPISODE NOTES
00:56 – Introducing today’s guest, Dr. Shefali Tsabary
05:35 – Conscious parenting, defined
08:18 – Goals of conscious parenting
11:22 – Dr. Stephanie opens up about having expectations of her son
13:29 – Framing expectations for our children
16:11 – Differentiating between child-centric and parent-centric parenting
18:22 – Parenting myths discussed in Dr. Shefali’s book, The Awakened Parent
19:58 – Why success has become the primary barometer for childrearing
23:14 – The danger of potential
25:26 – The myth of ‘good’ children and ‘bad’ children
28:50 – Learnings Dr. Stephanie applied from Dr. Shefali’s book
30:28 – Dr. Shefali provides practical tools parents can utilize daily
31:47 – The myth that good parents are naturals
35:11 – Breaking free of parental guilt
36:40 – The myth that a good parent is a loving one
39:36 – Dr. Stephanie recalls a vulnerable moment from her childhood
42:18 – The myth that parenting is about raising a happy child
46:10 – The myth that parents need to be in control
48:46 – Tools parents can use to become more conscious
52:47 – How to navigate two differing parental philosophies
54:14 – Dr. Shefali gives advice to parents struggling with raising children with special needs
55:54 – The importance of accepting ourselves as imperfect beings
58:16 – Dr. Shefali promotes her annual event, Evolve
59:50 – Where listeners can follow Dr. Stephanie and subscribe to her newsletter
TWEETABLE QUOTES
“The conscious parenting understands that the traditional way they’ve been parenting until now is full of holes and mythologies that need to be debunked.” (05:45)
“In many ways our children are more evolved because they allow themselves to be unhampered by culture. They’re very open about their feelings. They’re not yet jaded and critical like we can be.” (11:03)
“I think keep it to day-to-day expectations and the rest will kind of take care of itself. If they’re [your children] meant to be a scientist, they’re going to be a scientist. If they’re meant to be an artist, they’re going to be an artist. Don’t dictate their future.” (15:52)
“Success has become the goal of childhood. Not play, not exploration, not nothingness, not boredom, not creativity, but success.” (19:58)
“Our children are not here to live our lives. And they’re not here to fulfill our destinies. They’re here to become their own beings.” (22:46)
“There’s so much to learn. And, really, parenting should just be learning. We don’t know these children that come to us.” (32:16)
“The journey is not outward, it’s inward. You have to go inward in order to make this thing call parenting work.” (34:59)
“Love is the most active thing you can feel. And it really involves no judgement, no approval, no conditions, no transactions. It’s really love for the other person’s essence no matter how they make you feel.” (37:06)
“That’s the beautiful part of life. If life was all happy, there would be no nuance, there would be no adventure, there would be no complexity, and there would be no growth.” (43:27)
“Meditation has been the single most profound tool in my life, so much so that I am more connected inward than outward.” (51:57)
“We can’t be everything to all people and all things and all images of ourselves as women.” (54:44)
“Mothering just takes the life out of us, doesn’t it? And I think that we are ashamed to talk about just how draining it is because we have this mantle of perfection over our heads.” (55:31)
LINKS MENTIONED
Private Facebook Community for Better!
Dr. Stephanie’s Twitter – @dr_stephanie
Dr. Stephanie’s Instagram – @dr.stephanie.estima
Dr. Shefali’s Instagram – @drshefalimexico
Dr. Shefali’s Twitter – @DrShefali
Link to Dr. Shefali’s Evolve Event
BOOKS MENTIONED
Dr. Shefali’s Book – The Awakened Family: How to Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children
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CONTRIBUTORS
- Dr. Shefali Tsabary
- Dr. Stephanie Estima
